Successful Success

I have a confession to make, one that I fear shows how nerdy and analytical I can be. Very early in the days that I started Fident, I wrote out a mock, future transcript of Michael Kitces interviewing me on his podcast, Financial Advisor Success. It’s one of a handful podcasts that I hardly ever miss an episode.

This arguably silly exercise itself provided me some vision and direction as far as what type of firm I want to build, and I still look back on that document occasionally. But that’s not my point here.

Michael ends each interview asking the guest to define what success looks like to them, as he says success means different things to different people. It’s one of my favorite questions to hear people answer. He’s correct, of course – and the broad range of answers from the guests to what success looks like proves it. I don’t think any single definition is necessarily right or wrong.

Our personal understanding of success is going to tie back to our own personal values – and most likely, the determination of our success will be measured by the degree we have lived them out. And I think it’s important for each of us to spend some time thinking about what being “successful” can really look like. In a similar line of thought to my recent post about benchmarking, this is going to be highly individualized. When we hear someone describe someone else – or even moreso, ourselves – as “successful,” we each probably internally interpret that “success” as meaning different things in our own lives.

A “successful” success, if we want to phrase it that way.

For my own life, I borrow heavily from Andy Stanley who said something along the following in his book Next Generation Leader.

I define my own success by being respected the most by those who know me the best.

It’s relatively easy to fake a successful life today. We can borrow too much for houses we can’t really afford to live in, or cars to drive, or vacations to take. We can write blogs about how much of a focus we put on our family and living in Today (wait a second…). We can tweet, post, and update a fabricated #bestlife without most people really knowing the truth.

It’s easy to fool those who don’t know us very well, is what I’m saying.

You know who is harder to fool? Those who know us well. Our spouses, children, and closest friends. My wife, my kids, and a small circle of close friends know me well. Intimately well. They know my warts, my insecurities, my fears, my shortcomings, all along with my wins.

With this framework of success in mind, it’s easier for me to design a firm that’s “successful.” (Side note: easier, not easy. Entrepreneurship of any kind is not for the faint of heart.)

My point isn’t to say you should adopt my own understanding of success. Rather, I want you to think about what your own unique understanding of success is for your own unique life. Once you know that, you can then begin intentionally building towards that life – and have something to measure against to determine if you’re “successfully successful.”

This applies to your career. Your business. Your finances. Your side hustle. Your family.

Your neighbors’ definition of success shouldn’t be your own.
Your parents’ definition of success shouldn’t be your own.
Your colleagues’ definition of success shouldn’t be your own.
My definition (or really Andy’s) definition of success shouldn’t be your own.

Make your own definition of success your’s – and then design and measure your life accordingly.

And if/when Kitces ever extends that invitation to me to be a guest on his show (I have a loooong way to get to that point), I hope I’ll have designed and fully implemented my firm in a way that I can confidently answer that I’m successfully a success on my own terms: by living a life respected the most by those who know be the best.

What about you?