A few weeks ago, after talking about the balance of managing a business in the crazy life stage of raising a family, my friend Taylor sent me this book: The Family Board Meeting. He said it was really impactful on him and his efforts with his family, and highly encouraged me to read it.
I couldn’t recommend it strongly enough.
Overall, the book’s idea is pretty simple: schedule and spend time with your kids. One-on-one. Every 90 days for 4 hours at a time. No electronic distractions. Make it fun. Talk about it afterward.
Not rocket science, but incredibly hard to consistently do.
So while I potentially just saved you the time to actually read the book, I’m going to nudge you to do it anyway (it’s only 80-some pages, and I read it within a sitting or two). Here’s why: I think some small detail will strike you and motivate you to actually put it in action, or improve on what you’re already doing.
Here was my humbling revelation:
I used to do similar on-on-one dates with our three oldest somewhat regularly for a couple years. I was super intentional with creating the space and time to do it, and I (hopefully along with them) have some wonderful memories of monster truck rallies, coffee dates, and hiking.
Then I left my own firm, started my own, and we had kiddo #4. Life got intense.
Since starting up Fident, I’ve worked from home, and I’ve logged a lot of hours (mindfully trying to manage Today vs Tomorrowland). I see my kids more than I’ve ever seen them before when I was at my other firm. I have lunch with them several times a week, interact with them during the workday, and am available for some shuttling around to activities more than I was before.
And slowly, subtly, and dangerously I realized that – in my mind – the QUANTITY of time was stealthily replacing the QUALITY of time spent with my family. It wasn’t a cognitive decision I was aware of making. It just happened.
In fact, when I first started reading this book, my initial thought was “I already do this. I am, at the least, an above average father. Shoot, my kids are lucky to have me.”
And almost immediately afterward, realized I couldn’t recall the last one-on-one time I intentionally scheduled and took with any of my kids. Yikes.
You might not relate directly to this quantity/quality time example, but my hunch is that there’s another example or point provided in the book that might spark a similar revelation in your own heart.
We’ve got 18 summers to really build a lasting connection with our kiddos – and my wife and I are already past the halfway mark with our oldest. As the saying goes – the days are long, but the years are short. So short. (In fact, maybe you should count them.)
Taking a few hours to read The Family Board Member would be a great investment on your end to help make the most of the time. The structure is simple, as outlined above, but the implementation takes some work, and the book provides an ample amount of ideas, examples, and strategies to encourage you do do it.
**Note: I don’t have any affiliate links to the book. I just really believe you should spend the $10 or so and read it.